The Quarter Parrot

Along my block back home in Caddowood Creek, there was an older woman who could no longer walk well. Margaret Quarter was a widow and her children were scattered throughout the country. She could not care for a dog like she used to, and she hated cats. But she did have one old companion: a talking parrot. Satchel was green with a yellow and red beak, but the bottom half of the beak was broken at the tip. And with Satchel being around 60 years old, Margaret had to break up his food before she gave it to him. Parrots can live to be 80 or 90, much like people, but Margaret had not always had Satchel. About 10 years ago, Margaret’s husband had passed away. Margaret’s good friend Susie Cook ran a bakery in the neighborhood. Around the same time as Margaret’s husband’s passing, Helen Hodge patronized Susie’s bakery. Helen headed up the Home Observance Tour in Caddowood. The Tour was made up of elderly women in the neighborhood with nothing much else to do anymore other than fix up their houses and show them off to each other. They liked to refer to themselves as the HOT Women. Most people speculated they forced the “Observance” to get the acronym. Susie was also a member and Helen thought it would be nice to show her own home with catering from a fellow member. So Helen bought several platters of baked goods on credit from Susie. Unfortunately, after the HOT showing and before Helen could pay for the platters, Helen suffered a stroke and died. Instead of demanding payment from Helen’s son, she asked that Helen’s surviving parrot be given to her for a good home. Susie in turn gave the parrot to her good friend and recently widowed Margaret for her birthday.

Margaret grew to love to talk Satchel, but he was demanding. Satchel was a vegan and thus became very upset at Margaret if she did not feed him properly. Consequently, Margaret spent much of her time shopping for and feeding Satchel. As an older male parrot, Satchel became more and more like Margaret’s husband. With very few ambitions of her own at this point in her life, Margaret tended to bow to all of Satchel’s suggestions. One day, the Quarters had just finished a big meal of black-eyed peas, raw squash, and turnips, and had sat down to digest in front of the television. Margaret flipped through the channels until Satchel squawked at her to stop at an infomercial. It was for one of those Rascal scooters you can apply for to get one free. Satchel blurted out, “Go for a walk, go for a walk!” This annoyed Margaret immensely as not only could she not walk anymore, but also she used to be a champion distance runner. She warned Satchel, “Shut it or I’ll break the rest of your beak!” He replied, “Call ’em up, call ’em up!” She didn’t have the strength anyway, so Margaret picked up the phone and applied for her free Rascal. Lo and behold she got one. Its arrival brought a newfound surge of energy to Margaret. She found she could go places once again. She could “walk” to the grocery store. She could “walk” over to Susie’s Bakery. She could “walk” to her husband’s grave. But Margaret grew tired of Satchel’s constant whining whenever she stopped at places. So Margaret decided to pick up her old sport to keep Satchel occupied and quiet. Now, everyday you can see Margaret doing laps back and forth along Springdale Road between Plateau Lane and Walnut Creek on her Rascal with Satchel perched on her left shoulder. If you call to her, “Making good time today?” Satchel will interrupt her, “New record son, new record!” For her birthday this year, Susie gave Margaret an eye patch and bandana. Margaret was hoping for a miniature ball gag.